I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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