oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My liver just broke up with me...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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