i permit you to call me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
