thus making me awesome and them whores
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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