I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
