Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
