just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What a dumb baby whore.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
