man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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