she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
