I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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