If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
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The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
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TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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