I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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