What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
