pop tarts are not kleenex
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
