Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
