Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
