New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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