i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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