pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize