just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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