dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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