i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
