So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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