so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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