she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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