so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
