I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
