remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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