So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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