She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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