They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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