We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
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we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
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And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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