Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
