ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
