I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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