Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
