every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
