So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
