did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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