The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
