I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
