I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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