no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
