6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
