put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize