I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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