thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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