Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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