some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
