oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
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He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
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I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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