My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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