She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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