I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
