New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
