OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Too much gin, very little bucket
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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