After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
