we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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