1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
