i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
